Updated: Oct 21, 2022
As a natural consequence of minding all our emotions, we will start to become more aware of our own energy field: who we are, what we react to, etc. This will naturally also create a wave of change through all our relationships.
Before cutting anyone out, let’s just start being mindful of how, with what and whom we spend our energy with. It’s about healing ourselves through our own vibrations and our own voice.
We will have to go deep into our core, and deal with the concepts of:
“…right and wrong, good and bad, important and trivial, valuable and frivolous. You have to figure out what you respect, what you disdain, what fascinates you, what bores you, and what excites you deep in your inner child”.
Surely, it’s not possible to get a clear cut answer to all these questions, but we do our best by ignoring others well-meant help, and instead independently ponder. With time, we will find our own unique blueprint, and be able to stand within our grounding.
And here it gets tricky, as we as humans have been told, that we are herd animals: that we need communities and tribes. Well, yes and no: We humans are on an individual path, but during our time here we will be waving in and out of communities and tribes.
The first community we experience is often the family we are born into. The older we get, we start being part of other tribes/communities, as a school, specific group of friends, co-workers etc.
The pitfall is when we are dealing with false communities or relationships. These can often be relations that started out great. We were good for each other. Then as we transition and change through life, we forget to look into the “old” communities and ponder whether we are still a match or we have outgrown each other. Here applies the entrance point: we meet for a season, a reason or a lifetime.
False communities can also be seen as when we enter a group, but this group is not about the individuality and identity of the member, allowing them to be them, but about the groups identity — here I’m thinking about the concept of: blind tribalism vs. conscious tribalism:
With conscious tribalism, the tribe member and his identity comes first. The tribe member’s identity is the alpha dog, and who he is determines the tribes he’s in. With blind tribalism, the tribe comes first. The tribe is the alpha dog and it’s the tribe that determines who he is.
And here is where it’s important for us to take time to do us. Because, trough our lives, we are in and out of these various groups/tribes, the so-called families, friends, workplace, partners etc. And maybe these groups are no longer a match.
But we live in a world, where breaking with these type of communities, often brings shame, the anxiety of being alone, alienated or not fitting anywhere else. Or as it happened to me not so long ago: My change of identity, was met with: “…but just remember what we did for you, back when you didn’t have anyone else”.
This situation was a Divine gift for me. I was reminded to look inwards and make sure, I was still aligned with the people I surrender myself with. I quickly understood why I was presented with this sentence. The tribe felt something in the line of “left behind”, as I was following a new lead in my life journey, that the Divine had suddenly presented me with. I didn’t share it with them — neither was it for them to understand at this point.
Yet, such a sentence, made me realize, I had outgrown the tribe, since I couldn’t identify with the energy or the wording in the sentence. This led to us acknowledging we were not on the same page. The tribe not taking responsibility for their emotions in this situation, and me trying to explain my entrance point, that is too different from theirs, so not something we could bridge over.
Thus, we had to part ways. It doesn’t mean I don’t care for them or love them. We are just not on the same page, for now. And the idea of: “loving from a distance” is an option. From my perspective the door is open, and with time, maybe we will be guided down the same path of the maze of life.
But the situation brought me back to my old traumas, of not fitting in anywhere, of feeling alone, about not knowing myself well enough to be mindful of, who I share my energy with. Traumas I need to attend.
Being our true self, is what we are here to do. So as long as we don’t harm anyone (including ourselves), what would we do next?
Next: Survival Kit #7 - Surviving by Being Your Own Guru
Previous: Survival Kit #5 - Surviving by Embracing ALL Our Emotions
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