Updated: Oct 21, 2022
Before we get too deep into this topic, I would like to offer my entrance point to the word emotions and how it differs from e.g. feelings and moods.
From my perspective, “Emotions” are a complex reaction pattern involving experiential and behavioural elements, e.g. how we deal with life. “Feelings” are the result of an emotion and may be influenced by e.g. memories or beliefs. “Mood” is a short-lived state of mind, usually of low intensity, and can occur entirely out of the blue, and disappear just as fast.
Emotions are in other words, energy in motion.
The simple idea is, that all our various emotions serve a purpose. Otherwise we wouldn’t have been equipped with such a variety of emotions. Life is a lot about connecting with our true self, including our emotional roller coster.
By attending all our emotions allowing them to guide us in life, we also can refrain the parts of ourself that we are naturally and instinctually repulsed by. Some times these emotions will guide us to healing trauma, or to attend emotional flashbacks, so we can release what’s clogging our energy and life force. Thus, living a more balanced and authentic life.
Often emotions are “the voice” of our Nervous System. These emotions will let us know, how we are doing and if there is anything “endangering” us. Being attentive to all of our emotions, isn’t necessarily about going into the emotion analysis. It is more about allowing them and observe.
For me, it is about having a more pragmatic approach to my emotions — living smarter and not harder. My experience is, that we as humans tend to complicate our lives by not giving enough space to our emotions, and especially the “negative emotions”.
Just the simple fact, that we tend to say “all is good”, we bypass ourself, our emotions and our Nervous System telling us something.
This life is, among other things, also about healing ancestral lineage and downloads, that no longer fit our blueprint. We are here to deal with “trauma” (also as passed on believes: physically, mentally and emotionally). And by saying “all is good” we are actually shaming our own trauma.
Also, if someone tells us stuff like: “just get over it”, or “your are being too thin-skinned”, or “just meditate”, we are still trauma shaming, not allowing the real release take place. Releasing trauma is equal to working on our shadows = “shadow work”, a term used by many.
From my perspective, there are no negative emotions. Being angry, mad and sad, are just as legit as being joyful, happy and ecstatic. We need to embrace the positive of the negative nature. E.g. “being a bitch”, is a person’s way of “having boundaries”, until they heal enough to emanate balanced boundaries.
So when we encounter — within ourselves and others — the good and the “bad” emotions, we need to get a bit more aware of what underlies the emotion. Leading us back to the principals of less judging and educating ourselves.
If we should be one of those, not having any “bad” emotions going on. If we believe to have fully healed our shadow work, or we just don’t know what our trauma release could be. Then let’s spend some quality time with our family, or close relationships. These will force automatically our shadows to front — our unconscious triggers.
There are multiple ways of going about minding our emotions, and allowing trauma healing. Here is one way of doing it:
Get triggered: Being triggered is always positive, and it’s our Soul’s way of nudging our human form, telling us where we are in our self-alignment journey.
Identify emotions: When triggered, emotions will naturally arise. A way to start mapping our emotions triggered is e.g. using the Wheel of Emotions (e.g. Psych. Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions). Identifying our emotions, situation or belief/behaviours can allow the internal release to unfold.
Activate intuition: Our intuition is our ability to know something directly without analytic reasoning, bridging between the consciousness, instinct and reason. Intuition is to work closely hand in hand with our emotions, creating “a dance of life”. Intuition can guide us to the “story” behind our emotion.
Meet your needs: This is another way of saying, we need to prioritize time for self. In order for our emotions and intuition to do the job of releasing, we need to make sure there’s space and the much-needed peace for it. So, let’s identify what our needs are (need that don’t involve another person), and add it to our life. These needs could be: getting fresh air, space, rest/sleep, protection, exercise, nutrition, silence, etc.
Live the aha’s: It can take days or weeks, even months, before we start understanding what is releasing and how it got “wired” inappropriately in our body (mind). Some of us will even be heavily drained by The Dark Night of the Soul. Then suddenly out of the blue, we will get an “aha”. It can be in the middle of a shower, a train ride, or Zoom meeting. We just sense this ignition within us. That’s when the “bad” wiring is getting rewired in our system. Aha’s are like small orgasmic internal feelings of “oooooh now I get it”, de-clogging our energy field.
Relax & Release: Once the aha’s has occurred, we need to take some time, for it to precipitate through our cellular and nervous system, allowing to release what doesn’t suit our journey anymore. This can again mean, being mindful of our emotions and how they manifest: we start crying, we want to scream or whatever. The important step is to allow it to manifest (NOTE! this does not mean going at it on other people), and take the time needed in solitude, for us to find what our new “view” is on that specific topic, situation = rewriting of story in our system.
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